It held me accountable and was encouraging. Well...I did pretty awesome for a while, and lost quite a bit of weight (50.4 lbs to be exact was what I had lost when my scale was at its lowest).
(Somehow I didn't snap a pic of my biggest lost numver, this is the closest)
However, then, I allowed myself to get off track.
I started making excuses for "cheating" by saying its one happy hour, or one cook out with friends, one weekend at the lake, or one sweet treat....and it started catching up. So then, I kept telling myself that I would "start over" Monday, and every other weekend I was like "well, I'm just gonna go ahead and eat that pasta because I start back tomorrow!" Then....I would never "start back." So basically, my eating habits went to shit. I documented some of that as well ;)
I also stopped working out. I can't figure out why I did this one. When I was steadily and consistently working out last year, I was happier than I have ever been and I always felt SO GOOD after a good work out. And then I just....stopped. I don't know why.
I made allllll the excuses in the world for myself....I was just getting burnt out so I needed a little break to not give up all together....What's the point in all this if I can't enjoy my life and not worry about it all the time....I just don't have time to worry about that right now...I don't have time to work out...I'm gonna eat mexican for lunch with my co-workers but then I just won't eat dinner-except I would, etc etc etc.
When I was actively losing weight I got on the scale almost daily, because it was FUN, because I would see the numbers going down and down and it was motivating. Well, when those numbers started becoming stagnant, it just wasn't as much fun to look at. So I stopped getting on it every day. And then, when those numbers started going in the OPPOSITE direction, well that was just downright depressing. So I avoided it.
I'm choosing not to share my "start weight" right now or a specific number of what I gained back but let me just tell you, RIDICULOUS does not begin to describe. I didn't totally undo ALL of my original hard work, I will say that. But when I think of where I could be right now, if I hadn't slacked off (lets be honest: gave up), it just makes me so mad at myself.
So, once and for all, I am pledging that this YEAR will be different. Not a few months, not part of the year....the whole thing. And the year after that. And after that. I know that I was absolutely happier when I was losing weight and getting closer to being comfortable with myself and my body. It was good for me and good for my relationships. My marriage was better, because I was in general happier and also more confident. My self esteem was a thousand times better. I didn't worry about being the fattest one at various events or activities, etc. I was HAPPY, and healthy to boot. I know that I am capable, and I know that I am the only one stopping me. I just have to make the CHOICE to get my ass out of bed and work out even if I don't ALWAYS want to, I have to make the CHOICE to not face plant in a cheese pizza or a bowl of nachos or chicken alfredo or any of the millions of other things that are so delicious but also SO NOT WORTH IT.
I feel like being healthy and losing weight needs to be handled sort of like any other addiction or unhealthy thing in your life....TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. Wake up each and EVERY morning, and make an active CHOICE that on THAT day, I am going to work out and eat healthy.
This year I:
I started making excuses for "cheating" by saying its one happy hour, or one cook out with friends, one weekend at the lake, or one sweet treat....and it started catching up. So then, I kept telling myself that I would "start over" Monday, and every other weekend I was like "well, I'm just gonna go ahead and eat that pasta because I start back tomorrow!" Then....I would never "start back." So basically, my eating habits went to shit. I documented some of that as well ;)
I also stopped working out. I can't figure out why I did this one. When I was steadily and consistently working out last year, I was happier than I have ever been and I always felt SO GOOD after a good work out. And then I just....stopped. I don't know why.
I made allllll the excuses in the world for myself....I was just getting burnt out so I needed a little break to not give up all together....What's the point in all this if I can't enjoy my life and not worry about it all the time....I just don't have time to worry about that right now...I don't have time to work out...I'm gonna eat mexican for lunch with my co-workers but then I just won't eat dinner-except I would, etc etc etc.
When I was actively losing weight I got on the scale almost daily, because it was FUN, because I would see the numbers going down and down and it was motivating. Well, when those numbers started becoming stagnant, it just wasn't as much fun to look at. So I stopped getting on it every day. And then, when those numbers started going in the OPPOSITE direction, well that was just downright depressing. So I avoided it.
I'm choosing not to share my "start weight" right now or a specific number of what I gained back but let me just tell you, RIDICULOUS does not begin to describe. I didn't totally undo ALL of my original hard work, I will say that. But when I think of where I could be right now, if I hadn't slacked off (lets be honest: gave up), it just makes me so mad at myself.
So, once and for all, I am pledging that this YEAR will be different. Not a few months, not part of the year....the whole thing. And the year after that. And after that. I know that I was absolutely happier when I was losing weight and getting closer to being comfortable with myself and my body. It was good for me and good for my relationships. My marriage was better, because I was in general happier and also more confident. My self esteem was a thousand times better. I didn't worry about being the fattest one at various events or activities, etc. I was HAPPY, and healthy to boot. I know that I am capable, and I know that I am the only one stopping me. I just have to make the CHOICE to get my ass out of bed and work out even if I don't ALWAYS want to, I have to make the CHOICE to not face plant in a cheese pizza or a bowl of nachos or chicken alfredo or any of the millions of other things that are so delicious but also SO NOT WORTH IT.
I feel like being healthy and losing weight needs to be handled sort of like any other addiction or unhealthy thing in your life....TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. Wake up each and EVERY morning, and make an active CHOICE that on THAT day, I am going to work out and eat healthy.
This year I:
- Will obtain and maintain my goal weight. I'm not sharing what that is right this second. I will share as I meet my "mini goals" of weight LOST.
- WILL NOT GIVE UP AT ANY POINT, AND I WILL STOP MAKING EXCUSES. Come summer, I need to be just as dedicated as today, and if that means packing my carrots for a weekend at the lake or bringing a salad with me to a cookout-so be it. Come next holiday season, I need to CONTINUE to make sure that all those holiday treats or foods fit into my daily calorie intake and that I go work out regularly instead of remaining in a constant food coma, etc. etc. etc.
- Will weigh a minimum of once weekly, even once I get to where I want to be, to stay on track. I will probably weigh daily at first. Some people think it's not a good thing to obsess over the scale. I think that at least until I get to my goal, I NEED to be obsessing over it.
- Will complete the whole30 (which I am currently undertaking). I don't know how many of these rules I will end up incorporating into my everyday eating...because what I did to lose the first 50 wasn't anything like this and it obviously did work...but I am going to try to "clean things up" for sure; keep drinking water, continue to try to cut back on any sugars in my diet, continue to primarily eat protein and veggies-even if I don't stick with the whole all organic, no beans, no dairy, no grains, no alcohol, no anything that is good in this life.
- Will set a new "challenge" for myself each month-AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. Having some more specific goals helps me. For January, it is Whole30. For February, it might be workout related.... I just want to have one specific "challenge" each month.
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