3 day Shakeology Cleanse

Posting two days in a row!! I mentioned the Shakeology cleanse in my last post as a goal for this week but I thought I should explain what it is. 

I've done this twice before. They recommend doing them 3-4 times a year. Here are some "flashbacks" from my previous cleanses:

Since I seem to have somehow ALREADY hit a plateau after giving up Whole30, I figure maybe this will get things going again. I really wanna see that scale go down a little more by the end of January. 

Also, this weekend I worked at my second job (I don't have a full-time second job, I just work fill-in/PRN shifts for a group home for teenage girls in foster care...it was my first job out of college before I started as a Family Service Worker and if it paid the bills I would stay there full time forever), and let me tell you....if you ever want a big dose of HONESTY, just go work with a house full of teenage girls (who have not had the best upbringing and therefore don't really understand social norms regarding what is and isn't appropriate to say and they have no filters). So, they have noticed I have been being "healthier" when I am at the house lately. I have been bringing my water bottles instead of diet cokes, bringing and making my own meals (salads, grilled chicken, fruit, etc.) instead of eating with them like I usually do, and I've told them I am trying to be healthier. Wellllll this lead them to conclude that i MUST be pregnant. I mean, they have been seeing me being "healthier" for almost a month now and I guess I certainly haven't gotten any smaller! And obviously they believe that my belly looks like it could have a bun in the oven. I didn't come out and tell them I have been "dieting" because....I don't know, I feel like teenage girls already have such fragile self esteem and society puts SO MUCH emphasis on body image....so I am always sure to tell them I am just trying to be healthy and make healthy choices for my body, rather than that I am "going on a diet." 

I guess their interpretation of that is that I am making healthy choices and trying to be healthier because I am am growing a baby.

I tried to not take this personally (but I mean-C'MON-it's never fun for a not-pregnant woman to be asked if she is pregnant....), and use it as a teaching moment to help them understand why they shouldn't go around asking people this so maybe they wouldn't do it in the future. I explained that I was not pregnant, I really was just trying to be healthier for ME, but that even if I was, they should not have asked me. I explained that a lot of women are not open about their pregnancy in the beginning and that it is an extremely personal decision who to tell and when about a pregnancy. Aaaaand now I am pretty sure they all just still think I am pregnant but that I really don't want them to know. So, that's that. 

I am not signed up to work again until probably the end of February....I am hoping that next time they see me it will be obvious I am not pregnant as my stomach is not growing and that I will actually look smaller and hopefully NOT LOOK PREGNANT at all.  

If I was having my doubts about doing the cleanse this week.....

THEY ARE LONG GONE NOW!!

Ever need some motivation?? Just wait until people start assuming you're pregnant when you aren't. And that clearly you being pregnant is the ONLY reason they would believe you would be drinking water and eating salad and grilled chicken... If THAT doesn't get your attention, I don't know what will!!

I start Monday. CHEERS!!

I'M A QUITTER...and it's OK.

So.... where to start? I quit the Whole30. I know I know, it was my first resolution and I blew it. But I'm ok with it. I gave it a shot, I did my research and all my preparation, and I followed it without cheating at all for 10 days. Then...several different things happened.
1. I got sick. I came down with a pretty bad cold and was all stopped up, sinus headaches, etc. I got on some cold medicine that was effecting me different than normal-making me shaky and short of breath for some reason when I took it.
2. I started feeling pretty nauseous off and on. Seriously-for about 4 days. I still don't really know what the deal is with that. Maybe I was detoxing and could have just "pushed through" it, maybe it was part of my cold, I don't know....but it was awful and I could hardly eat anything and the thought of all those fats that are required with tons of meat and veggies....made me want to throw up. So, I really wasn't eating enough.
3. I was miserable. I was trying really hard to convince myself I was really liking that stuff, and don't get me wrong, some of the meals were great! But, I was SO TIRED of protein and veggies or salad with dressing that I hate. I found myself CRAVING not pizza or McDonalds...honestly that was so far out of my mind in preparation for the Whole30 that it really just wasn't an option...but I was craving all my "healthy diet foods" that I was eating last year, when I lost 50 pounds. I wanted my Body By Vi shakes with almond milk, I wanted my spinach and feta salads from Kroger, I wanted black beans, I wanted flat-out pizzas....and I was just thinking is all that really SO BAD?!
4. The prep work was TOOOOOO MUCH. Having to literally cook almost everything and meal prep EVERYTHING to go to work. And, I am on the go so much that making time so be able to actually always heat up a meal, or sit down and eat a salad, is hard. It is not realistic in my day to day life where my day almost never goes as planned and I never know where I'll be at lunch time, or what time I will actually end up getting home to eat dinner.

The final straw for me was on a Monday....I had already given myself a "cheat day" the day before with all kinds of excuses and justifications. I literally woke up and felt nauseous on Sunday (1/12), so I ate a banana thinking I just didn't end up getting enough calories in the day before due to being sick. I went back to sleep a couple hours, woke up, and promptly ran to the toilet to throw up (TMI?!). I had a brief panicked thought that I might be prego but knew that it was highly unlikely (won't go into too much detail here, but I knew I had not missed the monthly thing that lets us ladies know we are NOT with-child lol). Well, on this day we were set to go bike riding...me, the hubs, and the bestie. I had already pre-reserved the bikes on-line (10% discount for reserving early so I was all over that!!), so I was NOT backing out. So we went, and a few hours and 12 miles later, my nifty polar watch informed me I had burned like 1400 calories!

Naturally, after burning so many calories I had "earned" a cheat meal, right?! I am trying to get out of that way of thinking....BUT, I just knew that there was no way I could eat a decent amount of calories in chicken and veggies to make up for that calorie burn, and not continue to be nauseous! So....I won't go into great detail but I cheated the rest of that day. In my head, I still thought I would get right back to Whole30 the next day at that point. 

So, the next morning, I woke up...did my usual thing of making and eating a good Whole30 breakfast, packed my lunch, and headed to work....and realized once I got there I had left my lunch on the counter. So, I knew I would have to actually go to the grocery store to find something to eat as there is literally almost no restaurants or especially fast food anything that is "Whole30 compliant." So on my lunch break, I ran to Kroger. I walked through the produce and ended up with an apple and a bag of carrots in my cart. I knew that wasn't gonna cut it, but what am I gonna do when I can't eat meat?! There isn't really a pre-cooked Whole30 compliant meat option that I was aware of or could find. I didn't see any of those handy "pre-boiled" eggs, they didn't have any "wholly guacamole," so I literally was gonna have no real fat or protein and be starving all day long. I went over to the "health food" section and read labels for 15 minutes and still-nothing! By this point I was actually pretty pissed off and arguing with myself in my head about WHY I was putting myself through this. So, on a whim, I quit. And I didn't say screw it and go through the drive-thru, or even grab a lean cuisine. I got this:

Now you can't tell me that is a terrible lunch?! It has fruit, veggie, protein, and even some FORBIDDEN dairy...but you know what? I am NOT lactose intolerant....I don't have any allergies or reason not to eat ANY of those things. So I ate it. And I enjoyed it. And then I promptly posted this picture with a long explanation as to why I was quitting Whole30 on my instagram and facebook...one thing that does suck about being public about your journey is you have to be public about your failures as well. I had made such a big deal about the damn thing if I was all the sudden eating a cheese stick or a ::gasp:: store bought salad, that would not fly. So I explained it to everyone that cared to read:

"I'm quitting the #whole30. I really don't like to give up on specific challenges I set for myself but the more research I have done on whole30 and the longer I am on it the more I know it's not for me. I am going to continue to eat cleaner and will still follow some of the rules (no sodas, no alcohol for the 30 days at least, be ve...ry aware of added sugars and keep them as low as possible) and am going to be doing everything in moderation that I do add back in (cheese occasionally only, only whole grains-no white flour anything, etc.). I am going to continue drinking tons of water and continue with my workouts. I am not "giving up" on losing weight and being healthier (in order to be happier!). But, this way of eating is just tooooo restrictive and I do not agree with all of the rules and 30 days IS a really long time. Longer than I thought it would be-at least when I'm following rules I don't believe in or see the point in. It's making me resent the program and dread every meal because it's so much WORK and so HARD. I lost 50 pounds last year just making a conscious effort to be healthier and counting calories. It doesn't HAVE to be this miserable. Almond milk, whole grains, black beans, and cheese (in moderation) CAN be part of a very healthy diet. If you are trying to diagnose medical ailments you THINK might be caused by some type of food intolerance (gluten, dairy, etc) then this may be a great program for you!! I am not. And I hate it. And I'm over it. Rant over. I will still be continuing on my weight loss and getting healthy journey though!!"

And then I saw the picture/quote below, and knew I had made the right choice FOR ME.

Whole30 is not a lifestyle, for me. I know that I am not going to keep that restrictive eating up. I need to get used to eating in a way that is going to be REALISTIC for me to continue doing FOREVER. Why waste an entire month of my life when I really have no intentions of that being my "habit." Right now, when it is January and my motivation is very strong because I am starting fresh, I need to start MAKING my habits NOW; doing things that I can stick to and things that will work for me in the long run. 

So, I have since continued with MyFitnessPal, and continued eating healthy for the most part. I do need to get a few things in check. I need to learn how to say no just because I can and should, and not only when I am on some cleanse or have 30 days of certain rules...I am still not there yet. I have been eating good about 90% of the time (ok, maybe 85%...)but then I went to the movies and had popcorn (for dinner, so my calories were in check, but obviously not a healthy choice!), went to Larry's for a ladies dinner with my family and did indulge and get pizza (I saved my calories all day but I am SURE I still went over...c'mon, what "dieter" in their right mind goes to a pizza buffet under ANY circumstances?!), and even today, I went to Ta Molly's with my co-workers for lunch....Because eating alone when everyone else is going out sucks. But, I need to SUCK IT UP. I need to do what I know is BEST for me. Or AT THE VERY LEAST, I need to get the chicken taco salad and not eat the shell...instead of being a fat kid with NO WILL POWER and ordering enchiladas with rice and beans. I mean what was I thinking?!

Now in between those BAD meals I have had healthy stuff, and I have had more healthy stuff than non-healthy stuff since quitting the Whole30:

Those are just a few of my meals i have had. 

I have also been continuing my workouts!

Along with some undocumented ones! I actually was really on quite a roll... I worked out daily from 1/10/14 until 1/21/14....11 days in a row....which may not seem like much but I have never in my life consistently worked out and even last year when I was hard core and doing good I was still only getting in 4 or SOMETIMES 5 workouts a week. Then, I had a headache all day on Tuesday and it was a long day and I just wasn't feeling it and took a day off. But, then I got right back to it and made SURE the hubby and I went to the gym together the next night and I have done SOMETHING every day since. I saw that youtube video that was flying around facebook a few weeks ago about the girl that documented her journey over 100 days when she worked out daily, and it was so inspiring!! Something like that is really kind of my goal, but I really don't want to set another goal for myself that I don't think I can keep....I think that I am going to try to something similar, but not QUITE as strict. For clients, we often set a requirement of them to complete 90 meetings in 90 days (I am a Family Service Worker for DHS....I deal with people with addictions to drugs and/or alcohol on a daily basis and as I have said, I truly think that the food and fitness battle can be a very similar struggle!). So, I am not making it formal or official, but I sort of have in my head that I want to do "90 workouts in 90 days." That would give me a little wiggle room to double up if I am sick or whatever and miss a day here and there. I am at this point trying to consider a "work out" doing SOMETHING for at least 30 minutes....whether it's 20 minutes of cardio and my arm weights at home for 10 minutes, or whatever. So, so far I am at 14/15 and have a workout that I need to make-up, if I am gonna do this!

I know this post is very long, because I felt like I needed to catch up on the whole quitting Whole30, but not QUITTING this lifestyle. I have been feeling pretty discouraged because since I did quit Whole30, the scale has NOT been moving. Well, it has, but certainly not in the direction I want. I have been fluctuating a lot but have been pretty much on average about 2 pounds up from my lowest, on the day before I quit Whole30, for 12 days now. I know I lost 11 pounds in the 11 days of Whole30, and I know that is not a realistic expectation to keep up, or even really "healthy." But, it is very discouraging to still be working so hard and NOT losing. So that is why, here in the last week, I have just ended up saying F it I am gonna eat Larry's with the rest of my family and damnit I want popcorn at the movies when I go. I know that is a very slippery slope and I need to stop those kind of thoughts NOW. Justifying major cheat meals like that and making unhealthy choices are what got me here, and I want to make changes-PERMANENT changes. I just need to stay focused and stay on track and TRUST THE PROCESS. Trust that if I continue to count my calories, eat healthy (even if not "paleo" or all "clean"), and work out regularly, I WILL lose weight again. I didn't get in this situation overnight, and I am not going to meet my goals overnight either. 

So, at this point, I am using MyFitnessPal daily to track calories, working out as much as I can, and just trying to wake up EVERY DAY remembering my goals and what is really important to me. I think I do better with small goals. Whole30 was maybe just TOO MUCH. A month is a long time, y'all!! So, this coming week, my goals are:

• Complete a shakeology cleanse. I have done these before and really like them, and maybe it will at least get that scale moving again (even if just a little) to help me feel encouraged again.I know, cleanses are sometimes looked down upon and it is again not a realistic "lifestyle," but I have had success with these before and I think doing a 3-day cleanse a few times a year is not a bad thing.
• Get back to ONLY drinking water. I had 3 diet cokes last week (well, if I'm being honest...I had diet cokes the 3 times I went out...at the movies, at Larry's, and at Ta Molly's-and you know I took advantage of those free refills!! So....I had a lot of diet coke). Now, that is NOTHING compared to the 5 A DAY I could and sometimes did put away before, while drinking very little to no water!! But again...it is moving BACKWARDS. I will get back to ONLY my water (And Spark!! Spark doesn't count!) and drinking 64-100 ounces daily. 
• Work out every day-whether it is 30 minutes on the treadmill, 25 minutes of Jillian (you KNOW 30 day shred should count for a full 30 minute workout even if the video is just a tad shy by the end of 25 minutes with Jillian Michaels I am sweating bullets, shaking, and can't walk the next day-so it counts!), an hour walking at the lake, or 2 hours climbing a mountain. Do SOMETHING daily.

So, there are my weekly goals!! I may check in during the week to update on how things are going but if not I will next weekend for sure. Maybe that should be another goal-blog once a week!

Now, I'll leave you with some motivation and some funnies!

(I really need to take the time to crop the motivational posts that I screen shot off of instagram or various places!! haha I guess at least this way I am giving them credit for where I found it!)

Have a good week, lovelies!!

Whole30 Day 8-I haven't pulled my hair out yet!

Today marks day 8 of my Whole30. Today, I feel like crap. I honestly don't know if my body is finally "detoxing" off all the sugar and processed crap, or I am really getting sick, or a combination of both. I woke up this morning around 5:00AM with a THROBBING headache that I could not kick, and I was all stopped. up. So, I thought the headache was just sinus pressure but I took some sinues medicine, and some migraine medicine, and it still hasn't really gone away. I have also felt queasy alllllll day. NOT FUN. And, the only thing in the world that sounds comforting or good to me right now is a steaming hot bowl of Campbell's terrible-for-you Chicken Noodle Soup, and a stack of saltine crackers. I have done so good so far but today is really testing my willpower.

In happier news, as of today, I am down 8 pounds since the New Year. I reset my weight loss total on My Fitness Pal so it is now only counting weightloss for this year. That is pretty exciting, I think! I am sure a lot of that is water weight and just my body being SHOCKED by these things called vegetables! But hey, a loss is a loss!

I have continued chugging my water like it's going out of style and am averaging anywhere from 64-100 ounces a day. Which also has the negative side effect of me peeing EVERY 5 MINUTES. Seriously. Yesterday, I went before I left the office, and by the time I drove to to the grocery store I was about to bust again and had to go before I could shop! I am also waking up at night to pee.

Speaking of sleep habits, I have been sleeping like a rock. And again, up until today, I have been feeling super rested during the day. I have woken up in the middle of the night to pee but I go right back into a deep sleep! The only problem is I am sleeping so deep it is hard to wake up in the mornings! Once I make myself get up I am not tired at all but initially getting up is hard because I feel like I am in a deeper than normal (for me) sleep.

So far I have stuck to my goal of working out 5 out of 7 days. Since I started, I skipped Sunday and yesterday.... so as long as I make it tonight I am still on track. But, I feel awful so not sure if I will make it tonight it not...If I don't go tonight I will work out extra hard or maybe even get an extra workout in on Saturday. It's not like I'll be doing anything else!

That is one thing that sucks about Whole30. The things that I normally do to socialize are kind of off the table. And yes, I could just go and not eat/drink like everyone else....but that is just SO HARD. I am not sure I have the willpower to do it. I see a lot of weekends with my dogs in the near future. At least until February 1st!

BTW, I am already planning my first non-Whole30 meal. I want white cheese dip, chips, and margaritas. I'm just gonna go ahead and break all the rules, at least for that one meal! Like I have said, I am not "going paleo" or continuing on with these crazy rules after Whole30...I am not doing this to identify food allergies or foods I need to eliminate from my system....but I do intend to try to eat "cleaner" in general, and will get back into a diet more like what I was doing lats January-May...Where I was counting calories and trying to be health-conscious, but I still had my cheats, and I still was on grains, dairy, and legumes...just proper portions and as part of a balanced diet.

Some pictures from the lat few days:

homemade "creamy" tomato soup-made with coconut milk, shrimp sauteed with Ghee, garlic, blackened seasoning, and lemon, and roasted asparagus.

 



 

 Roased veggies (squash, zucchini, mushrooms, onions) and grilled chicken:

 

homemade mayo! I tried once and it failed, my second attempt was a success! Not as good as Kraft...but it'll do for now!

 



 

Whole30 Progress

 

I am on day 5 on my Whole30. So far, things have really been going great!! I think what has helped me is that I did  a lot of research beforehand. I have had it sort of in the back of my head that I might do a Whole30 Challenge since October, and since then I have been reading up. In December, I really started doing research on it. I was reading lots of blogs from others who had done a Whole30 Challenge, looking up all kinds of recipes, and how to make different meals "Whole30 Compliant." So, doing all that really got me in the right frame of mind I think. Then, I started spending some money...I ordered the book, I ordered Ghee (clarified organic butter; basically they heat butter at a very low temperature until the milk solids become a foam that sits on top of the butter and you can remove it...what you have left is Whole30 Compliant because the milk solids are removed), I ordered spice blends that contained no MSG, sugar, sugar substitutes, or other crap, I got coconut oil and coconut milk (still don't know what to do with the latter). I really put quite a bit of time into all of this-but this is what I tend to do....when I get something on my mind, I sort of obsess about it. And I really like to research EVERYTHING. I use google prooooobably 500x per day. No joke.

In this case, my slightly obsessive personality has (I think) really benefited me because I really knew what I was signing up for, I knew all the rules, I had ideas about what I could and could not have, and head all kinds of meals in mind already so that I wouldn't be hungry, frustrated, and give up on the second day.

 

Here is the premise for Whole30:

 

 

Basically, it is 30 days of a very restrictive diet. People do it for lots of reasons. Some do it to diagnose possible food allergies, or people with certain medical conditions do it to see how different kinds of food affect them given their condition. I basically was curious about it, and I like a challenge. I did need a kick in the butt to get this new year started off right and I hope that this will make me try some new things and broaden my horizons with food so that even when it's over I have more of a taste for some of these healthy foods, and can get back to choosing healthier alternatives. I have never before considered really trying "clean eating" but I have heard so much about the benefits so I figured why the heck not. So, I started prepping.

.

As said, I did my research:

Then, I went grocery shopping:

Somehow while at Whole Foods, this little guy:

just jumped in my cart....but really I am glad because I went from drinking pretty much no water some days, to drinking 6 or more of these guys a day without even really trying! I just make sure it stays full, and make sure that I have 4 total, but so far I have exceeded that every day!

Anyway, then I did some recipe planning and meal prepping. This is the only place I still felt a little lost....I boiled some eggs, chopped some veggies, and packed up a couple of meals. I still don't think I have meal prep down to a science but so far I am doing alright. My photo album on my phone basically looks like a cook book because of screen shots of different recipe ideas.

So, here is a basic summary of my days so far:

DAY 1

BREAKFAST: hard-boiled egg and a banana

LUNCH: roasted asparagus (evoo and homemade seasoned salt), sauteed onions and mushrooms (ghee and garlic), and a lean, grass fed hamburger patty (THIS MEAL WAS SO FILLING)

DINNER: "Oven Fajitas"-basically, boneless skinless chicken breasts cut up into strips, mixed with a can of rotel, an onion, a bell pepper, and some red pepper. Then, I mixed evoo with a blend of some different spices that made up a "homemade fajita seasoning" (cumin, red pepper, and a bunch of other crap), and tossed all of it together with that.

 

 



DAY 2





 

BREAKFAST: 2 eggs scrambled with peppers and onions sauteed in 2 teaspoons of ghee and a banana

LUNCH: hard-boiled egg, clementine, raw carrots, and a 100 calorie pack of Wholly Guacamole

DINNER: taco salad, made with lean grass fed beef seasoned with homemade taco seasoning, spinach and iceberg lettuce mix, pico, salsa, and green onions

 

 

 

DAY 3

BREAKFAST: sausage and sweet potato hash (sweet potatoes shredded and sauteed in coconut oil with bell pepper and onion, mixed with some ground sausage, and topped with a fried egg-in ghee)


LUNCH: repeat of roasted asparagus (evoo and homemade seasoned salt), sauteed onions and mushrooms (ghee and garlic), and a lean, grass fed hamburger patty (THIS MEAL WAS SO FILLING)

DINNER: spinach and romaine salad, with chicken "grilled" in a pan with coconut oil and my compliant lemon pepper seasoning, and tossed with a Mediterranean style vinaigrette from Whole Foods that is compliant

SNACK (NOT PICTURED): I had a bowl of fruit for a snack this night (cherries, a clementine, and a banana)...I was starting to tell the sugar cravings were kicking in and my body was missing that sugar.

 

 

DAY 4





BREAKFAST: eggs scrambled with peppers and onions sauteed in Ghee, clementine

LUNCH: spinach and romaine salad, with chicken "grilled" in a pan with coconut oil and my compliant lemon pepper seasoning, and tossed with a Mediterranean style vinaigrette from Whole Foods that is compliant

DINNER: "paleo spaghetti and meatballs"-spaghetti squash instead of noodles, homemade spaghettie sauce, and homemade meatballs. I made sure all my ingredients were compliant and I also added in tons of veggies I don't usually (mushrooms, carrots, extra onion). I blended the sauce to be able to add all those extra veggies without changing the texture too much. This meal was TO DIE FOR and definitely my favorite so far, which isn't a surprise since pasta and Italian in general is one of my favorite foods.

SNACK: bowl of fresh cherries; again, I can tell I am craving sugar. I know they don't "recommend" snacking, or really recommend a lot of fruit. oh well. These were delicious. Until yesterday, when my sister happened to have some cherries at her house, I didn't really think I "liked" cherries. They aren't my first choice flavor of anything, and I guess I've only really had the fake ones out of a jar sitting in red sugar syrup....Well, these are AMAZING. I went to Kroger last night and spend tooooo much on like 1.5 lbs of cherries. They may or may not be almost gone after Justin and I snacking on them last night!

 

 

So, there you have it. 4 days in and rocking along, so far it has not been so bad!! Although yesterday at the grocery store we went before dinner and I was hungry and felt a little liiiiiike:

 

I had to get out of there before I dove into a jar of peanut butter, or grabbed one of those icy cold diet cokes they put right at the check out, I'm pretty sure just to torture me.

 

 I saw this and liked it:

 

And keep reminding myself of a few others:

 

 

So, there it is!! Lets hope I continue doing this well!!! :)